Getting hard on porn
In today’s digital world, pornography isn’t just accessible — it’s everywhere. For many young people, it’s shaping ideas about sex and relationships before real-life experiences even begin. But here’s the catch: porn rarely reflects reality. It often leaves out key elements like consent, respect, communication, and emotional connection — leading to unrealistic expectations and confusion.
Excessive exposure, especially at a young age, can have serious repercussions. From performance anxiety and low self-esteem to struggles with real-life intimacy, the impact goes way beyond the screen.
But there is a path forward. We can take control by thinking critically about what we see online, setting mindful habits, and prioritising real and meaningful connections. We can help demonstrate that healthy relationships should be based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication (and, of course, the use of condoms).
Ready to explore? Let’s jump in.
Breaking the silence…
What happens when we break the silence around pornography with young men? Top Blokes Youth Worker, Isaac takes us into the heart of these crucial conversations, tackling stigma and shame head-on.
By normalising these conversations and providing education without judgment, we can help young males develop healthier attitudes toward relationships, intimacy, and their own wellbeing.
Discover how Top Blokes empowers young males to think critically and reshape their ideas around pornography and what a healthy relationship is.
The word on porn…
…the more messed up the content gets…the more shame is going to be around it so people talk about it less. So it just becomes this quiet thing in the corner, which keeps growing and getting worse…”
Young male
[The boys] wouldn’t want you to know how often they’re using pornography, or what kind of porn they are consuming…they don’t understand any of the impacts, because when we share [information on the impacts] in session, they’re actually quite shocked.”
Tyrone, Youth Worker
[The boys are] like, ‘No, I’ve seen what girls like through porn’ and it’s hard for them to even believe that that’s actually not real life, it’s not what women want, it’s not what women value. They’re like, ‘Oh nah, they like whatever it is, like abuse and that sort of stuff,’ which it’s hard for them to connect, but when they do, it’s like, ‘Oh, wow.’”
Nathan, Youth Worker
I found out that most of my friend’s mental health issues come from a pornography addiction because they were too afraid to even share it…when you’re brought up with [religious morals]..and when [pornography use] contrasts with that, they feel disgusting…you will not believe how many people go through this.
Young male
LET’S GET REAL
For the First Time
- Research indicates that children as young as nine have been exposed to pornographic content, often unintentionally.
- The average age for young males to watch porn is 13 yrs.
Exposure Impacts
- It can lead to anxiety, shame, and identity conflicts.
- Early exposure can influence attitudes and behaviours towards sex and relationships.
- The average young boy is exposed to pornography three-five years before actually having real-life sexual experiences.
Young Males & Porn
- Shapes unrealistic expectations, lowers self-esteem and increases concerns about how you might perform.
- You don’t see condoms in a porno, and porn sex often does not reflect what sex is like in reality.
- Reinforces harmful gender stereotypes and potential for supporting violent actions.
Wellbeing
- Can make us feel confused and emotionally distressed.
- Risky sexual practices.
- Anger.
- Loneliness.
- Physical health can be impacted by difficulty performing.
Does porn make it hard to Talk?
WHAT YOUNG MEN want you to know
Young males want to talk about pornography — how it influences their expectations, relationships, and even their self-esteem. But shame and stigma often keep these conversations in the dark. The reality? Porn is shaping ideas about sex, consent, and masculinity in ways many don’t realise. By listening without judgment, we create space for young men to question, reflect, and develop healthier, more informed perspectives on sex and relationships.
We chat with our Youth Ambassador Council to understand the young male perspective when it comes to porn.
What we advocate for…
Early Education
Invest in age-appropriate education programs on pornography risks, starting in primary school.
Research
Fund research into the effects of pornography on young males.
Regulation
Regulate digital advertising to prevent young people from being exposed to harmful content.
Consent
Focus on consent, respect, and identity in educational programs to challenge the harmful masculine stereotypes porn promotes.
Expert-led
Ensure pornography education is delivered by trained professionals rather than leaving it to informal discussions between mates.
Youth Voices
Engage young males in co-designing solutions for reducing pornography-related harm.
Reduce Stigma
Involve parents and caregivers in open conversations to reduce stigma and build trust.
who's teaching you about sex?
Most young men get their sex ed from one awkward chat, the internet or listening to their mates — and sometimes that can be filled with inaccuracies, myths and a big dose of unrealistic expectations. There is a real need for ongoing conversations about sex, consent, and relationships.
With porn and social media distorting reality, young men need to question their influences and think critically. Breaking the stigma around porn use, checkups and safe sex helps young men take charge of their health and build stronger, more respectful connections. Top Blokes Youth Worker, Danny explains.
Why Top Blokes
Belong. Lasting impact with expert guidance
Lasting impact with expert guidance
Our long-term programs, led by qualified Youth Workers, are designed to create change that lasts, foster leadership and grow boys into adults. We’re with them every step of the way as they navigate life’s challenges and become exemplary community members.
Be. Tailored support from within Australian communities
Tailored support from within Australian communities
We’re deeply embedded in the communities we service, offering tailored, evidence-based programs for boys and young men aged 10-24.
Our approach is local, so we understand and can address community-specific needs so every young male we work with gets the tools he needs to thrive
Become. Empowering healthy masculinities
Empowering healthy masculinities
We focus on fostering positive, healthy masculinities and breaking free from stereotypes.
Our programs are dedicated to empowering young males to find their unique strengths, embrace their true selves, and positively contribute to their communities.
