The Netflix series Adolescence has struck a nerve — and for good reason. It’s powerful, emotional, and at times devastating. But more than anything, it’s timely. As a youth mental health charity that works closely with young men every day, we recognise the world Jamie (the central character) is navigating because we hear these stories firsthand.
There’s one question Adolescence leaves us sitting with:
How are boys like Jamie slipping through the cracks — and what can we do to catch them?
The rise of the manosphere
Across classrooms, online spaces, and social circles, there’s been a sharp rise in the presence of the manosphere—a loose collection of online influencers promoting rigid, often misogynistic ideas of what it means to be a man. Whether it’s Andrew Tate or algorithm-driven content, boys are absorbing messages like ‘women are the enemy,’ ‘crying is weakness,’ and ‘dominance is power’.
But here’s the catch: these messages aren’t always met with blind acceptance. In our Top Blokes programs, we see that boys are willing to question this narrative — if we give them the tools, time, and trust to do it.
Why do boys turn to these spaces?
Here’s what the show Adolescence and real-life experience tell us:
1. Emotional isolation
Boys like Jamie spend hours alone in their rooms, often disconnected from parents, teachers, or peers. When there’s no one to talk to, they turn to screens — and the internet is more than happy to keep them company.
2. A lack of role models
When schools are overwhelmed and positive male role models are few, boys seek identity and belonging elsewhere. Unfortunately, the loudest voices online often speak the language of control, power, and misogyny.
3. Confusion about masculinity
Boys are stuck between two worlds: one that tells them to be strong, stoic, and in control, and another that encourages vulnerability and emotional intelligence. Young men tell us this can be confusing. The manosphere offers them something clear and simple — even if it’s deeply harmful.
4. Shame, insecurity and peer pressure
From being mocked for being a virgin at 13, to feeling like they’ll never be ‘the top 20%,’ boys are under intense pressure. Toxic online spaces offer false promises of status and respect.
5. Low empathy + high exposure
When empathy is low (something that declines in teenage boys), misogynistic content can take hold fast. Combine that with private, unrestricted screen time and algorithmic reinforcement, and you’ve got a dangerous mix.
What can we do?
At Top Blokes, we know the solution isn’t to demonise boys or dismiss their experiences. It’s to engage with them, not against them. And we know what works:
Create safe, supportive spaces
Let boys talk. Let them ask questions. Let them challenge what they’re seeing online. We’ve found that when given the space to explore healthy and positive masculinities, they rise to the occasion—every time.
Rebuild empathy and connection
Our programs help boys rediscover traits like care, respect, bravery, and kindness. These aren’t just “soft skills”—they’re protective factors against radicalisation and harm. Building positive communication strategies and conflict resolution skills helps boys feel like they have more control in their lives.
Involve the adults in their lives
Parents, teachers, and community leaders must step up. Model healthy relationships. Stay curious about what they’re watching—and talk about it. Don’t judge, just listen. Build trust with your child so they can have the difficult conversations with you.
Be real, not performative
Boys see through lip service. Consent talks, ‘respect’ posters, and assemblies simply aren’t enough. What they need are relational adults they trust, and long-term programs that shift culture—not just information. Every child wants to feel seen and heard. Adults who show up for them, believe in them and invest in them help young people develop a strong sense of identity.
The final word
Adolescence holds up a mirror to a very real crisis. But it also reminds us that change is possible. We’ve seen it.
At Top Blokes, we work with thousands of boys every year who are choosing empathy over aggression, connection over isolation, and authenticity over performance.
They’re not the problem.
They’re part of the solution.
And as the adults in their lives, it’s up to us to show them how to lead.
[Images: Netflix]
